Song Lyrics

For whatever reason, I am often drawn to specific lyrics in songs (as many people are) and I always want a place to put them. So here are some of my recent favorites:

"Why we fight to get on lovin', I've been wonderin', how your mind will leave you hangin' your heart lingerin' stay lost then found by whoever stays around forgetting--there is a way to be yourself I assure you this, there's a way to catch your dreams without falling asleep. You might as well get 'em while you can babe cuz you know you ain't getting any younger."-Seinabo Sey, Younger

"You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down. You, you enchant me, even when you're not around. If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down. I'm latching on babe, now I know what I have found." -Disclosure, Latch

"Nothing's been the same since we've been through, walking in the rain, calling your name in my sleep, never thought you'd run so deep, in the corners of my mind you creep." Hudson Mohawke, Very First Breath

"Nobody sees what we see, they're just hopelessly gazing." -Beyonce, XO

"I was just stumbling out of a prosthetic love and there had never been someone so real... As if it wasn't enough to hear you speak, they had to give you lips like that. Like all of your sadness reduced to a color, then painted upon you, how could I forget you."-Twin Shadow, Tyrant Destroyed

"I wanna stare at your tears how they watered your years....I wanna know what's your, I wanna know what's your quietest feeling." Bodyache, Purity Ring

Love is...

I came across this quote in reading an article posted by a friend about relationships that are not on the classical escalator scale and what that means. I find myself making connections with people a lot more frequently these days, and needing to navigate these new relationships in which I want to maintain that connection and what it means to nurture a relationship from both sides. I wanted a place to put this quote so that I could return to it from time to time and perhaps allow others to learn from it as well.

“You don’t measure love in time. You measure love in transformation. Sometimes the longest connections yield very little growth, while the briefest of encounters change everything. The heart doesn’t wear a watch- it’s timeless. It doesn’t care how long you know someone. It doesn’t care if you had a 40 year anniversary if there is no juice in the connection. What the heart cares about is resonance. Resonance that opens it, resonance that enlivens it, resonance that calls it home. And when it finds it, the transformation begins…”
~ Jeff Brown

I find this quote captures the urgency that one feels in the beginning stages of love (or infatuation) and also gives credence to the longing and pining that blossoms and allows the underlying mutual respect, admiration and desire for growth and support to come to fruition.

Link to original article: http://polysingleish.com/2015/04/28/navigating-non-escalator-relationships/

Finding myself?

I've been making efforts over the last several months to find my true self. I have begun exploring what it means to be independent, independent from my relationships with others and my responsibilties and my "job". This effort has caused me to do a lot more thinking, and desiring to write about things in a place other than facebook. It occurred to me today that reviving this old blog may well serve that purpose, at least as a short term solution. I expect that this will turn into more of a journaling space than a well-written blog, but perhaps others may find some things interesting, and I am curious to see if in writing in the space I make new connections with like-minded people.

Efficiency

I know what you're thinking, how can efficiency be the title to a blogpost?  Well, I have completely failed in my ability to achieve both efficiency AND blogging as evidenced by several weeks without a new post.  I was going strong there, for oh, two weeks, but then reality jumped up, smacked me across the face, kicked me to the ground, spat on my hair and said "What the hell do you think you're doing???  Get back to work!"  But in this case, reality is just my own voice in my head.  So I thought it would be a delightful idea to start an "Efficiency Timer".  The plan is start the timer as soon as I begin working, and then pause it for things like coffee breaks, going to the bathroom, gchatting, blogging, and then judge myself on how many hours are being recorded on my little battery-powered Fisher Scientific Timer of Efficiency and Self-Deprecation. At first my actual working hours did not match what I imagined to be my actual working hours.  For example, I am normally "working" from 9am to 8 pm, which is 11 hours of work, and this is what I usually tell myself.  We all have the same thing playing in our brains about how we're at work for so many hours and working all of those hours.  But on that first day, at leaving time, instead of 11:00, it only showed something like 8:34.  I was incredulous!  After all this time, I've been telling myself I work 11 hours a day, but really it's only 8!

I found this somewhat distressing, and determined to prove I could actually work 11 hours, I cut out things like coffee breaks, going to the bathroom, gchatting and blogging and my timer proudly displayed 10:41 or 10:58 by the end of the long long day (I also had to actually stay at work longer to achieve these hours, don't worry I do use the bathroom for longer than two minutes a day).  And really, what do I have to show for it?  Did I achieve more in my career?  Did I produce more data?  Did I complete more experiments?  Did I go home feeling more satisfaction with my research?  The sad answer is no.  All I felt was tired, and more depressed that even with working so many hours, I still have nothing to show for it.  So the moral of the story is I'm back to blogging, at least more often than every three weeks, and hopefully I can come up with something interesting for my audience, because this is a hell of a lot more fun than gel electrophoresis.

These Dreams

I've noticed throughout my life that I almost always remember my dreams the next morning.  This can be somewhat obnoxious because I always want to share what I've dreamt about but can never fully describe the vision.  In a few freak occasions, I have actually woken up and immediately called people who I dreamt about to make sure they were okay.  Recently I've found that if something terrible happens in my dreams, my brain compensates to make everything okay.  For example, if a loved-one dies in my dreams, they immediately spring back to life.  However, I experienced the opposite situation in a recent seemingly funny dream.

I was walking along the sidewalk and I turned to see a completely white rat/bear thing, that had white scales like Falcor the luck dragon, but it was freaking huge!  This thing was massive!  And it was driving a car/vespa/bicycle!  I didn't seem to notice that it was jeering at me in a not friendly way.  I was so excited that I might actually have a beautiful beast/friend to ride with to the ends of the earth who would beat up those asshole kids that threw me in the dumpster!!! 

Deciding that this was my only chance, I exuberantly waved my hand and yelled "Hi!"  The beast slammed on the brakes, jumped off of it's transportation, and charged towards me while growling/screaming.  Apparently he was not my friend... and then I woke up.

NSFWDTH

I frequently receive emails from a certain friend that are nicely labeled NSFW (not safe for work) as a warning that the content is somewhat adult in nature.  Usually I am super excited thinking that this is some sexy thing that I can't possibly look at in midday.  But alas, it turns out to be only slightly inappropriate with comic partial nudity or something like that (not that I don't still appreciate them!), usually these are things that I can look at at work.  However, I have recently discovered a new realm of NSFW, not due to the adult nature of the material, but due to the pure hilarity involved.  I have found certain blogs on the internet to be so downright hilarious that I literally cannot read them at work because I cannot prevent myself from laughing to tears.  I have already linked to these blogs on the left, the first is called Hyperbole and a Half , the second is No Ordinary Rollercoaster.  Both of these blogs have been placed in the category of NSFWDTH (Not Safe For Work Due To Hilarity) for me because I cannot read them without snickering, gaffawing, and drooling to the point of disturbing my co-workers.  Eventually I hope to make an entire list of NSFWDTH blogs.  Until then, you have been warned....

Kelloggs and Kashi...why????

Kashi's TLC bars are truly a gift.  Low in calories, high in protein, tons of whole grains, they are a vegan healthnut's dream come true.  Or so I thought, until the day I decided to take a close look at the label after learning that Kelloggs had bought the Kashi brand (back in 2001, thought I only recently became aware of this).  To my dismay, this is what I found....

 Why Kashi why?  Why did you have to add powdered cow puss to your amazing products?  I know whey is cheaper than soy isolate, but would anyone (except obsessive compulsive eaters like vegans and lactose intolerant people) really notice that tiny amount?  It's the last ingredient in the list, but just that tiny amount has tainted this beloved product and ripped yet another option from your adoring vegan fans.

I will miss you tasty little chewy bars....