These Dreams

I've noticed throughout my life that I almost always remember my dreams the next morning.  This can be somewhat obnoxious because I always want to share what I've dreamt about but can never fully describe the vision.  In a few freak occasions, I have actually woken up and immediately called people who I dreamt about to make sure they were okay.  Recently I've found that if something terrible happens in my dreams, my brain compensates to make everything okay.  For example, if a loved-one dies in my dreams, they immediately spring back to life.  However, I experienced the opposite situation in a recent seemingly funny dream.

I was walking along the sidewalk and I turned to see a completely white rat/bear thing, that had white scales like Falcor the luck dragon, but it was freaking huge!  This thing was massive!  And it was driving a car/vespa/bicycle!  I didn't seem to notice that it was jeering at me in a not friendly way.  I was so excited that I might actually have a beautiful beast/friend to ride with to the ends of the earth who would beat up those asshole kids that threw me in the dumpster!!! 

Deciding that this was my only chance, I exuberantly waved my hand and yelled "Hi!"  The beast slammed on the brakes, jumped off of it's transportation, and charged towards me while growling/screaming.  Apparently he was not my friend... and then I woke up.

NSFWDTH

I frequently receive emails from a certain friend that are nicely labeled NSFW (not safe for work) as a warning that the content is somewhat adult in nature.  Usually I am super excited thinking that this is some sexy thing that I can't possibly look at in midday.  But alas, it turns out to be only slightly inappropriate with comic partial nudity or something like that (not that I don't still appreciate them!), usually these are things that I can look at at work.  However, I have recently discovered a new realm of NSFW, not due to the adult nature of the material, but due to the pure hilarity involved.  I have found certain blogs on the internet to be so downright hilarious that I literally cannot read them at work because I cannot prevent myself from laughing to tears.  I have already linked to these blogs on the left, the first is called Hyperbole and a Half , the second is No Ordinary Rollercoaster.  Both of these blogs have been placed in the category of NSFWDTH (Not Safe For Work Due To Hilarity) for me because I cannot read them without snickering, gaffawing, and drooling to the point of disturbing my co-workers.  Eventually I hope to make an entire list of NSFWDTH blogs.  Until then, you have been warned....

Kelloggs and Kashi...why????

Kashi's TLC bars are truly a gift.  Low in calories, high in protein, tons of whole grains, they are a vegan healthnut's dream come true.  Or so I thought, until the day I decided to take a close look at the label after learning that Kelloggs had bought the Kashi brand (back in 2001, thought I only recently became aware of this).  To my dismay, this is what I found....

 Why Kashi why?  Why did you have to add powdered cow puss to your amazing products?  I know whey is cheaper than soy isolate, but would anyone (except obsessive compulsive eaters like vegans and lactose intolerant people) really notice that tiny amount?  It's the last ingredient in the list, but just that tiny amount has tainted this beloved product and ripped yet another option from your adoring vegan fans.

I will miss you tasty little chewy bars....

Blogger's Dream

There is something both freeing and anxiety-inducing about blogging.  I'm constantly thinking of things to write about throughout the day, like that fat squirrel that ran up the tree after it attacked my hand, or the crazy lady next door who always yells at her kid, or the jerk who cut me off on my bike and I almost died.  But will anyone think it's funny?  Will anyone even read it?  Why am I blogging in the first place?  Do I really care if anyone reads it?  Do I even think it's funny?  Do I want my blog to have a theme, to be serious, to be about science, to be about life, to be about healthy living?  I don't want to sound preachy, and I don't want to be boring....

And then the blogger's dream hit me...I started fantasizing about how amazing my blog could be, how insightful my posts could become, and how the number of people who read it could go from my immediate family and friends (read as: me, myself and I) to the entire internet in only a matter of seconds!  But what would it take?

I think if I can incorporate elements of other blogs that I like to read and things that I enjoy in life and make a sort of collage or mash-up, one day, my blog will rule the internet.  For your viewing pleasure, I have created a protoype that is a small demonstration of my vision:

Ta-Da!!!

Buddy Taping

So picture me, gung-ho for rock climbing,just finished a relatively easy warm-up climb and I decide right at this moment is the absolute BEST chance to try a bouldering problem that I haven't been able to complete.  This is one of those climbing routes where you start with your feet underneath an overhang and your hands right on the edge, and you have to maneuver your feet around and up while holding on to the edge.  I am going to get it this time, and nothing is going to stop me.

I get into position, both hands on the starting hold.  Reach up with my right hand and crimp the next hold.  Then I steadily shift my weight into my feet, start to move them over and as I'm doing this, my weight gets transferred to the right hand which goes from this

to this

(no no, it didn't turn into my left hand!) and shortly thereafter I find myself on the ground with a lot of pain in my middle and ring fingers and wrist.  That's when I learned about buddy taping!  Which I think is just an adorable name for the most sensible thing you can do to immobilize a finger, just tape it to it's next-door finger-buddy! 

Yay for buddy taping!  Needless to say, I am going to have to do one-handed climbing for a little while now....

Anti-facebook-establishment

Thanks to the fantastic idea of quit facebook day, I have finally decided to quit facebook, for real this time. I mean it. Facebook and I, we're done. Really really. I am not going back. It's not as if I didn't like what facebook did for me, allowed me to connect with my friends and stalk their profiles and feel left out when there were pictures from parties I didn't get invited to. Maybe I'm being naive, but all of the changes they are making to the privacy options have just gotten too damn annoying to keep track. Plus, I could use those extra minutes (who am I kidding, try hours) a day that I spent looking at hundreds of photos from friends of friends from high school, reminiscing about the good old days, and wishing I had more time to actually spend with real people. So, thanks facebook, for everything you've taught me about life, but I am tired of worrying about my personal information being available to anyone on the wide world internet.
There's one thing I noticed immediately after quitting facebook, I no longer have a "go to" website for procrastination. You know those times when you just need a quick mental break at work, all you need is a few minutes of smiling faces to brighten your day, it's gone now. I don't have a replacement, a procrastination-filler. Plus, I really enjoyed leaving a snarky status to see what kind of responses I could elicit. In lieu of this mini-relief of angst, I decided to start a GINORMOUS RELEASE OF ANGST and start my own blog! Because I have so much time to dedicate to it! OH EM GOATEE!!!!

So to my current (hahaha) and future followers, please enjoy my blog and feel free to respond with as much snarkiness as possible.